waking at sunset

And then, for the first time in my life, I believed him when he told me everything would be alright.

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:11:37 -0400

And then, for the first time in my life, I believed him when he told me everything would be alright.

Understanding vs Execution

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:12:50 -0400

I understand. I do. I swear I do. It’s the execution that escapes me. I find myself unable to move or create a plan to get myself out of this mess. Only playing the situation over and over in my head do I realize the distinction in my being. The ability to recognize the problem and change it is a lot easier said than done. Just let it go, they say. But how do I let go of a thought, feeling… A fear? If humans had the ability to control our nature, wouldn’t it be a perfect world? If we were able to be the best we could be, why do I not know a single person living it? We will always be cursed with the humanness and sin that plagues our pure happiness. It is part of who god made us, and I think I am unable to escape certain aspects of ME. But no matter how good I am… There are still discrepancies between what is seen and the battle that lies within. Somehow the status quo has led me to think it is weak to be real. That exposing ones flaws or insecurities is equal to weakness and is unattractive. We are supposed to be strong and confident, always. But I can’t live my life that way. It’s killing me from the inside out. So I’ll try to live my life through my lense, not someone’s who doesnt know a damn thing about where I am, where I came from, or what I am thinking. So yes, I think I understand it just fine. That executing a perfect life does not amount to happiness. Understand that understanding is the first step to being fine.

"Having a hard time understanding how a friendship you have with a person can be so immensely..."

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 03:34:37 -0400

“Having a hard time understanding how a friendship you have with a person can be so immensely different than a friendship they have with someone else.”

"I didn’t mean to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I just can’t hide when you look at me."

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 01:06:09 -0400

“I didn’t mean to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I just can’t hide when you look at me.”

Photo

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 01:30:44 -0400

Restless

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 01:05:14 -0400

Restless. The feeling of helplessness. Facing the inescapable realities that blindside you at your most vulnerable point: alone. Finite yet illimitable, thoughts avoided become numerous and overbearing. Too much to process in one perfect, quiet moment. Playing God with the power of justification; playing chicken with the real reason why. Drowning in the sound of silent thought vomit. Restless.

Favorite present. @tvalarik knows me so well 😎

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 20:06:02 -0500

Favorite present. @tvalarik knows me so well 😎

Napoleon loves his Christmas present @elikapeka33 😺🎅 ho ho...

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 12:59:32 -0500

Napoleon loves his Christmas present @elikapeka33 😺🎅 ho ho hoooooo

Wishing you all a merry Christmas and all the love in the world.

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:00:22 -0500

Wishing you all a merry Christmas and all the love in the world.

Lobster + family = Christmas cheer

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 22:08:33 -0500

Lobster + family = Christmas cheer

My animals are spooning. #christmaslove #brothers

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 18:06:39 -0500

My animals are spooning. #christmaslove #brothers

#Throwbacktuesday so lucky to have such a beautiful, smart, and...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 00:01:57 -0500

#Throwbacktuesday so lucky to have such a beautiful, smart, and loyal best friend 👯❤ @h_bowman

I miss my twin. @elikapeka33

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:10:40 -0500

I miss my twin. @elikapeka33

This is the part where you find out who you are. #whoeversheis...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 11:50:09 -0500

This is the part where you find out who you are. #whoeversheis @themaineband

Us fruitcakes heading Margaritaville. Wish you all were comin...

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:01:37 -0500

Us fruitcakes heading Margaritaville. Wish you all were comin with.

Brighter than the sun.

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 23:56:20 -0500

Brighter than the sun.

I was really tired at 6am this morning 😣☕

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 10:08:37 -0500

I was really tired at 6am this morning 😣☕

Last day of college EVER face.

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 12:01:39 -0500

Last day of college EVER face.

Our “we hate the DMV” faces. 😒😒 @tvalarik

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 00:35:11 -0500

Our “we hate the DMV” faces. 😒😒 @tvalarik

Step up + pancakes + bacon + Christmas tree + @tvalarik = best...

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 15:13:24 -0500

Step up + pancakes + bacon + Christmas tree + @tvalarik = best afternoon ever.